when ideas gone

usually take to surfing
getting pounded at the neighbours
nativity scene in disability office near
the
chemist
buying beer
whole world awake
that has become a prayer of sorts
holding on for too long just admit it
i did, just then
when i said everything is alright
it is
behind the ear
it is behind the ear
where you break
a car
a carton
a four dollar expense
was one step into a
walking office a standing
attention is what i am paid in because money gives me access to it

chad

im gonna cum baby means
im going to leave
im gonna escape into death
did not need reminding that death 
in its predatory sense 
death has indeed allured the 
body that enacts the death thought
a steak
one steak
one street 
which is definitely to say one mind
one argument
one truth
one moment which is also truth
one half packed trolley
one packet of 4 apple pies
one at a time
one aluminium nappy one aluminium 
rack of day on day to one truth 
one moment
one bullet
becomes two and many more with momentum 
and
you stand between, mostly 
in fact every living being every 
of the earth stands between
one bullet

on the aluminium metal earth at which the bullet surrounds 
as if some kind of electricity
what can be seen at the edges
what moment which is truth
says me

no knee jeans

I was taught early about love and a hangover 

standing in the sun alright 

everything alright

jeans and sunglasses on lesbian sunglasses on big ones that covered nostalgia eyes 

big love that covered nostalgia eyes 

Garage sale pace of a day into night 

whole day slow because of love into

grateful days 

play a song

a room full of half formed opinions 

more than half 

well deserved or early opinions because living

because you’ve done it 

done what has been said 

take time 

taking your time into a fading feeling that 

is new comfortable 

old comfortable too because a thought has happened time has reflection

simple physics

forget the feeling until it is new again 

in the news again 

100 special

20 not quite so special 

to use everything you have worked for would 

mean

time has taken many things from you 

I go to a lovers house to hear a song I play for you 

I have had many 

living pieces that is 

in very many days 

I have seen miraculous things 

many things you must understand and many you are yet to or may never fully 

the world is very slow 

it is a feeling of holographic 

if not sure this is the real deal 

I have paid for it even 

to try to under 

understand 

moments of a song my leg pretzel your legs are salty I am tired finally I am ready for small death into you and full satiation 

of which I regard yours higher than almost anything in the world right now 

leaving untitled

leaving untitled to the new house i got, off you, many things of wonder and many days go by
of panic 
what’s that for 
at a corner I take a a turn forward 
or down and at a still 
I am fearful of 
a whole moment 
that I make in my head 
while you brush your teeth 
and we love more people than we say 
but we say it so many times 
to ourselves
that this time feels different 

you into

correct U 

into I 

which makes it perfect 

tobacco is real 

Like sex or drawing is 

constant I mean

a truth we dare not challenge 

but okay with it 

i

said to many things 

that I can hold the opposite and equal 

but it is never truly physics 

when there is choice 

or illusion even dissalows it

and this is 

because there are always hills 

and hard people 

and concessions made oh how long I could talk to you about those small death sacrifices of life 

a strange ecstasy 

which is always 

exhausting 

and you cry with the noise of an old lesbian 

playing guitar 

and the closest friends you have

in the other rooms

and i am guilt still 

ambition means

nothing

if not experienced in the process 

of 

the process itself 

first thing that you know

the best orgasm 

Why 

Look about your body in a mirror 

Relax 

Think about everything again 

do something habitual 

succeed 

or don’t 

and so succeed elsewhere immediately 

thursday morning

in the morning finding you well on a thursday you shit after me and we drink coffee on the bed and look out and men who fold their shirts and walk in the morning and were children once now play and golf are walking in the morning and we kneel across from each other near the window where he leans and masturbate and I cum in a cup the children I will no longer have close and I think but don’t say that once I saw a video on twitter where a gay man put a frozen vile of cum in his boyfriend’s ass and he fucked his ass until the cum had melted from ice 

and i take my ice millions of children are everywhere but mine are dropped into a brown cardboard box in a chamber between two doors 

and they are collected in full ppe 

pp

the penis 

of a woman 

the penis of a woman 

the cum of a woman makes children 

or is the children 

i can’t decide

and they are in a box 

waiting to sleep as we have just done 

and today

everything is the same colour 

the same two colours 

for the rest of your life 

sitting as kinaesthetic fidget control of consciousness

1. The day of the jump off has to be grand you will probably feel better you say in bed sweet summertime in the video you start early because you know this will only work if it feels electric, like there might be something to lose , like closing in on a corner but it keeps turning , and I am right now fairly sure it will I wil i will I will I will relent the intensity of life which still beats within I will write a letter to someone when I want something I tell myself I do not want I will write this for myself and remember always that process is the most important thing the doing the rest is I will remember to enter my body and car for it and welcome it’s new changes I will speak literally and liberally and naturally naturally naturally and return here for reminders of the hesitation the pause pained feeling of leaving a moment

2. following the thought into a feeling, or was it the other way around. new clarity, new annoyance with no full stop keep the warm tea near and the gallery of bending open to the street keep it open the smell of temptation is good i am happy with the smell of temptation

3. when it comes it is celebrated, i am crying to yoko ono season of glass driving home and when i get there it is all she has promised or mostly yoghurt smell and video games and a shower and out of the shower a kiss wet

4. I flush the toilet before I finish peeing, which is also why I take drugs