sitting as kinaesthetic fidget control of consciousness

1. The day of the jump off has to be grand you will probably feel better you say in bed sweet summertime in the video you start early because you know this will only work if it feels electric, like there might be something to lose , like closing in on a corner but it keeps turning , and I am right now fairly sure it will I wil i will I will I will relent the intensity of life which still beats within I will write a letter to someone when I want something I tell myself I do not want I will write this for myself and remember always that process is the most important thing the doing the rest is I will remember to enter my body and car for it and welcome it’s new changes I will speak literally and liberally and naturally naturally naturally and return here for reminders of the hesitation the pause pained feeling of leaving a moment

2. following the thought into a feeling, or was it the other way around. new clarity, new annoyance with no full stop keep the warm tea near and the gallery of bending open to the street keep it open the smell of temptation is good i am happy with the smell of temptation

3. when it comes it is celebrated, i am crying to yoko ono season of glass driving home and when i get there it is all she has promised or mostly yoghurt smell and video games and a shower and out of the shower a kiss wet

4. I flush the toilet before I finish peeing, which is also why I take drugs