Thursday, May 21, 2020

you into

correct U 
into I 
which makes it perfect 
tobacco is real 
Like sex or drawing is 
constant I mean
a truth we dare not challenge 
but okay with it 


Thursday, May 14, 2020

i

said to many things 
that I can hold the opposite and equal 
but it is never truly physics 
when there is choice 
or illusion even dissalows it
and this is 
because there are always hills 
and hard people 
and concessions made oh how long I could talk to you about those small death sacrifices of life 
a strange ecstasy 
which is always 
exhausting 
and you cry with the noise of an old lesbian 
playing guitar 
and the closest friends you have
in the other rooms
and i am guilt still 

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

ambition means

nothing
if not experienced in the process 
of 
the process itself 

Monday, May 11, 2020

first thing that you know

the best orgasm 
Why 
Look about your body in a mirror 
Relax 
Think about everything again 
do something habitual 
succeed 
or don’t 
and so succeed elsewhere immediately 

Thursday, May 7, 2020

thursday morning

in the morning finding you well on a thursday you shit after me and we drink coffee on the bed and look out and men who fold their shirts and walk in the morning and were children once now play and golf are walking in the morning and we kneel across from each other near the window where he leans and masturbate and I cum in a cup the children I will no longer have close and I think but don’t say that once I saw a video on twitter where a gay man put a frozen vile of cum in his boyfriend’s ass and he fucked his ass until the cum had melted from ice 


and i take my ice millions of children are everywhere but mine are dropped into a brown cardboard box in a chamber between two doors 

and they are collected in full ppe 

pp

the penis 

of a woman 

the penis of a woman 

the cum of a woman makes children 

or is the children 

i can’t decide

and they are in a box 

waiting to sleep as we have just done 

and today

everything is the same colour 

the same two colours 

for the rest of your life 




sitting as kinaesthetic fidget control of consciousness

  1. The day of the jump off has to be grand you will probably feel better you say in bed sweet summertime in the video you start early because you know this will only work if it feels electric, like there might be something to lose , like closing in on a corner but it keeps turning , and I am right now fairly sure it will I wil i will I will I will relent the intensity of life which still beats within I will write a letter to someone when I want something I tell myself I do not want I will write this for myself and remember always that process is the most important thing the doing the rest is I will remember to enter my body and car for it and welcome it’s new changes I will speak literally and liberally and naturally naturally naturally and return here for reminders of the hesitation the pause pained feeling of leaving a moment

  2. following the thought into a feeling, or was it the other way around. new clarity, new annoyance with no full stop keep the warm tea near and the gallery of bending open to the street keep it open the smell of temptation is good i am happy with the smell of temptation

  3. when it comes it is celebrated, i am crying to yoko ono season of glass driving home and when i get there it is all she has promised or mostly yoghurt smell and video games and a shower and out of the shower a kiss wet

  4. I flush the toilet before I finish peeing, which is also why I take drugs 

the i don't caring

The I don’t caring
came on in waves like water or forgetting the crickets
and maybe I felt overwhelmed the cable
the mover
The very well and comfortable
Movements of others were
Mostly a lie
But sometimes I wonder if we play to our strengths and they
So much as is all now
Become weaknesses
And I hate the idea of weaknesses
like grade
Or like the money it costs for wine
or the day at an early point and you really aren’t
Sure
that
and sometimes it is feeling guilty for navigating You are everybody who is around you and they think about you and I hope they care for you how much care do you give and forget or not push fully because of
fear
I thought fear was to be powerful
And it is
but sometimes
Some
Time
May not feel power in
The navigate
The what you want is quiet and
What I need might never meet sometimes it does and
That
Is
Sex
I am laying next to you and think
The words of you are
The best person I can be near
sometimes we do not say this
and others we write it down
The next morning
The morning where I am waking next to
will be waking
and that is always a sure thing
a suring thing
I sold my body to a chicken sandwich and
at 515 am I turned
it can get harder to leave your body
early riser
I do not leave the water to hold onto
Your light body
you are hours
and you have been those
connecting too
for temporary
there is power
in and when we both realise
at the same time there is a small smile that arrives
and we both arrive suddenly behind it

i still owe you glasses

try to love you in a very normal way
like a receptionist at a doctors surgery 
or somebody who delivers flowers
to a staircase
cannot deny the intimacy feelings 
I like to think I have tried to feel intimate as many times over in a single day
I believe to be making an effort 
and when it is less well 
when it is at the surgery 
it may be a more aggravated form of flattery or self importance or narcicism which is intimacy sometimes 
but when it is not
it is normal in the most 
Delightful 
Surprising 
Romantic 
Long street of tree and rib cage
way
which means 
I sit in bed 
and hope you are comfortable 
and warm 
and stimulated 
in any way you desire 

i am here to help you in any way possible in the journey of being awake

xylophone 
and growing pains 
new house or
new body in the less new house 

should we do a little more time 
should be a fine day or maybe a week 
hey babe 
how are you feeling today babe what’s up babe how’s your day been babe what’s doing good for you babe love you babe how’s your life been babe feeling what life is doing babe are you feeling what life is doing babe 

the tent city at edinburgh gardens is removed

the day before the dog is walked
is a day before the boarded wood of unknowing men becomes stiff and fitted like a SIM card 
within its babushka sizes
that quite like men do know to make a comment on the absurdity that someone would love or even live within what a king might grant us as public space 
a castle

and the day before a dog walks into a car 
6 baby chihuahuas in a pram and parent’s arms 
and the truth of cancer in many body this week 
author said author said 
move me
life be the wind instrument 
life be a non-offensive chord in triumph of arbitrary 
I have woken up and touch the bodies in the pram 

the day before we wake at an idea of living 
we cannot be bothered to change 
is the day we are most free 
and I have not known this day 
because it is passed 
and freedom I think 
is a memory 
like time is 
forget it’s there 
really
forget about it