you into

correct U 

into I 

which makes it perfect 

tobacco is real 

Like sex or drawing is 

constant I mean

a truth we dare not challenge 

but okay with it 

i

said to many things 

that I can hold the opposite and equal 

but it is never truly physics 

when there is choice 

or illusion even dissalows it

and this is 

because there are always hills 

and hard people 

and concessions made oh how long I could talk to you about those small death sacrifices of life 

a strange ecstasy 

which is always 

exhausting 

and you cry with the noise of an old lesbian 

playing guitar 

and the closest friends you have

in the other rooms

and i am guilt still 

ambition means

nothing

if not experienced in the process 

of 

the process itself 

first thing that you know

the best orgasm 

Why 

Look about your body in a mirror 

Relax 

Think about everything again 

do something habitual 

succeed 

or don’t 

and so succeed elsewhere immediately 

thursday morning

in the morning finding you well on a thursday you shit after me and we drink coffee on the bed and look out and men who fold their shirts and walk in the morning and were children once now play and golf are walking in the morning and we kneel across from each other near the window where he leans and masturbate and I cum in a cup the children I will no longer have close and I think but don’t say that once I saw a video on twitter where a gay man put a frozen vile of cum in his boyfriend’s ass and he fucked his ass until the cum had melted from ice 

and i take my ice millions of children are everywhere but mine are dropped into a brown cardboard box in a chamber between two doors 

and they are collected in full ppe 

pp

the penis 

of a woman 

the penis of a woman 

the cum of a woman makes children 

or is the children 

i can’t decide

and they are in a box 

waiting to sleep as we have just done 

and today

everything is the same colour 

the same two colours 

for the rest of your life 

sitting as kinaesthetic fidget control of consciousness

1. The day of the jump off has to be grand you will probably feel better you say in bed sweet summertime in the video you start early because you know this will only work if it feels electric, like there might be something to lose , like closing in on a corner but it keeps turning , and I am right now fairly sure it will I wil i will I will I will relent the intensity of life which still beats within I will write a letter to someone when I want something I tell myself I do not want I will write this for myself and remember always that process is the most important thing the doing the rest is I will remember to enter my body and car for it and welcome it’s new changes I will speak literally and liberally and naturally naturally naturally and return here for reminders of the hesitation the pause pained feeling of leaving a moment

2. following the thought into a feeling, or was it the other way around. new clarity, new annoyance with no full stop keep the warm tea near and the gallery of bending open to the street keep it open the smell of temptation is good i am happy with the smell of temptation

3. when it comes it is celebrated, i am crying to yoko ono season of glass driving home and when i get there it is all she has promised or mostly yoghurt smell and video games and a shower and out of the shower a kiss wet

4. I flush the toilet before I finish peeing, which is also why I take drugs 

the i don't caring

The I don’t caring

came on in waves like water or forgetting the crickets

and maybe I felt overwhelmed the cable

the mover

The very well and comfortable

Movements of others were

Mostly a lie

But sometimes I wonder if we play to our strengths and they

So much as is all now

Become weaknesses

And I hate the idea of weaknesses

like grade

Or like the money it costs for wine

or the day at an early point and you really aren’t

Sure

that

and sometimes it is feeling guilty for navigating You are everybody who is around you and they think about you and I hope they care for you how much care do you give and forget or not push fully because of

fear

I thought fear was to be powerful

And it is

but sometimes

Some

Time

May not feel power in

The navigate

The what you want is quiet and

What I need might never meet sometimes it does and

That

Is

Sex

I am laying next to you and think

The words of you are

The best person I can be near

sometimes we do not say this

and others we write it down

The next morning

The morning where I am waking next to

will be waking

and that is always a sure thing

a suring thing

I sold my body to a chicken sandwich and

at 515 am I turned

it can get harder to leave your body

early riser

I do not leave the water to hold onto

Your light body

you are hours

and you have been those

connecting too

for temporary

there is power

in and when we both realise

at the same time there is a small smile that arrives

and we both arrive suddenly behind it

i still owe you glasses

try to love you in a very normal way

like a receptionist at a doctors surgery 

or somebody who delivers flowers

to a staircase

cannot deny the intimacy feelings 

I like to think I have tried to feel intimate as many times over in a single day

I believe to be making an effort 

and when it is less well 

when it is at the surgery 

it may be a more aggravated form of flattery or self importance or narcicism which is intimacy sometimes 

but when it is not

it is normal in the most 

Delightful 

Surprising 

Romantic 

Long street of tree and rib cage

way

which means 

I sit in bed 

and hope you are comfortable 

and warm 

and stimulated 

in any way you desire 

i am here to help you in any way possible in the journey of being awake

xylophone 

and growing pains 

new house or

new body in the less new house 

should we do a little more time 

should be a fine day or maybe a week 

hey babe 

how are you feeling today babe what’s up babe how’s your day been babe what’s doing good for you babe love you babe how’s your life been babe feeling what life is doing babe are you feeling what life is doing babe 

the tent city at edinburgh gardens is removed

the day before the dog is walked

is a day before the boarded wood of unknowing men becomes stiff and fitted like a SIM card 

within its babushka sizes

that quite like men do know to make a comment on the absurdity that someone would love or even live within what a king might grant us as public space 

a castle

and the day before a dog walks into a car 

6 baby chihuahuas in a pram and parent’s arms 

and the truth of cancer in many body this week 

author said author said 

move me

life be the wind instrument 

life be a non-offensive chord in triumph of arbitrary 

I have woken up and touch the bodies in the pram 

the day before we wake at an idea of living 

we cannot be bothered to change 

is the day we are most free 

and I have not known this day 

because it is passed 

and freedom I think 

is a memory 

like time is 

forget it’s there 

really

forget about it