standing still

when everyone was a woman 

I felt a kind of pause that day 

slowed down 

resting but restless body 

counting counting counting 

lots of women so far 

many more to come 

the night i saw magnetic

the night i saw magnetic 

flash along the highway 

a new mother merging from what is schooled 

cowardice comes to mind as love does 

the opportunity to speak one mind does not garantee 

and the hand which comes in flashes of light 

and in food or dirt (of which we do not know the contents) 

has already been us 

passed through 

it is returning 

and neither of us ever really 

walked away 

or covered up

completely naked 

with all that is naked and spirit 

metal pooling on a slow road 

melting inward 

towards the same body of water 

the one i check in on 

and quickly tell my secrets 

and i make a home there 

roberta flack

in the rain there is a losslessness
and in many things meaning and when observed again 
none at all
you wonder at your desk why this frustrates you
and what said to lean in to the 
anything

new body you hope for 
actual love
knowledge of that
final draft
white room
rain cap
rain heart
fine comb

i have given myself writing in times of pain
i know you have given the tv
or the gossip
gospel drinking
and darling 
that word
broken into it
"it is you who i adore
it makes no difference"

i just want love
hole 
i just want love
boring
i just want love
tired
i just want love
society machine man says the marker i stand wherever you want man
ill do it yeah sure why
not
why be a 
what says the data 
boring 
i just want love darling 
says the word again
says it won't be long 
never won't be long 
like everything that is 
tell me tell me 
tell me 
tempt me with the bull and cage and i can go in to it then
that says hello i think
i feel pulled nicely
play talking
i just want love
and that is 
and that is
and that is 
being someone else 
always or never for a moment and i mean that

a wonder where you can get 
without someone to say it is alright

finally time to think

incredible
again
that is funny
unbelievable again
you're kidding

all while the body is in habit
time to think
while the body is in habit
a whole while

supermarket

reminded again of the transcendental
just been living as another name for a while
and im sure that too is temporary
same problem every day
wondering when it ends but knowing
it doesn't
no more parties
then
no more ashes still burning
but we have been doing it for decades
the demolition
all that raging home
come to see me
come to meet me
no more parties
on the power
tonight on the power
stacking up
building
bending and then working perfectly
running machine
humming
beat
all to the whole world
to quiet

sweet noon

and that is it 

in the hands countless rehearsed miracles 

waiting for permission 

like a beat 

or a whistle 

but sound is constant 

and always late 

so it feels as if it hasn’t arrived and so my hand which in the memory of sound  becomes desire 

like most things 

blessed love

bright morning
helping myself to the ignition
the pedal
everything i could even try to grab 
holding a kind of ball between ones knees for a whole
day and 
of any day 
it is the day you do the absolute most
stupid soul
sing today
as i know you can
help me

you are

you are a 13 year old girl 

and after that 

it is only love 

in the sun 

and in the brick underneath you

shining 

prayer

new sky
and death many times is what i have come to know
sharp
that is a drum
rhythm is legs and trust
through the kitchen and driving and sometimes sex
let go of the wheel
many times
many times again
the same words arrive until they are solved
wondering if
are we overwhelmed yet

bookshelf

snapshotting what is important 

learns many about the now 

learns many about home and of food and of distraction 

the existential 

the existential 

the existential 

then 

warm potato

a film in another language 

a text message about a hard day 

a record left rolling into sex 

i stand the grandest and smallest of stages

and let everything else hum quietly 

and let everything else curdle strangely to fit this

which means 

you say we will buy seeds on the weekend 

a garden starts like a fire 

starts well after fire 

be’s bothered 

is concerned 

calls family 

has time to sit and remember calmly 

rather than quickly which is tension which is trauma which is habitual 

really local 

entering into the safe and closing from within 

finally 

it is singing in the underground 

howling and the real rhythm 

and rhythm is ocean and music and living and holding

it is soil

which is human

it is our own personal god

on the bookshelf not yet up 

but hoping 

after years of neglect

to one day be up

call the doctor

what tastes sweet 

convincing yourself of at the very least one constant 

and then touring to another 

couples are alone too 

but that’s an example 

in the bass 

in the stomach 

wear the skirt is easy to say 

easy words 

but not in the bullet of throat or thought  

now i am not in it 

as in i am vulnerable  

because you are scared of aging does not mean i am as the jar lid dries

there is no mother jar 

bass again 

rhythm heat being the outside one together in a room 

but very distant 

what comes up on the machine 

what shows up 

i’m showing up now that’s what i’ll say to myself 

doesn’t work 

quickly 

but surely 

so much evil just to have you on my side 

it is an endless invisible woman 

forever 

and matching comes sometimes 

it is 

momentum 

or 

what gets loud quickly 

waiting room 

holding time 

hey to yourself quickly 

stop 

then stop again

you haven’t actually stopped 

you think i am a joke 

be aware 

wake a point 

stop a sentence 

make a point 

take time and sorrow 

as in memory