i have done this before

I think a lot about the altar of the body, altering the body, the politics of removal and the violence of expectations and I think about the sound of change and the clocking of unsure and there are moments where we know nothing and I wish we said I know nothing more and sometimes I want to contract smaller than I can and fold at areas I may not be able to and run my hand along the railing of it and have no sound at all, and every time I put my body outside I undo that all as in I retract my statement and be , there is a silence we might find where we both kneel and greet each other and we too stay silent and let the fear guide our hands and press down at our expectations and press out a kind of crying, our hands will cry because maybe this may be the first time they touch without knowing as in they never knew but now have permission to do so, and this may be the song we have been hearing but never sure of where as in hidden sounds are now around us and loud and we might finally relax our shoulders and sigh also